The first time around you thought everything was good but then he started ignoring your texts, avoiding you in the halls, not looking your way in class. Yeah, you were hurt trying to figure out what happened, what could you have possibly done. But nothing compares to the fifth time around. By this time at some point in all of this you formed a thick skin. It's almost as if you became impermeable..impenetrable..maybe numb to the pain. As time goes on and he leaves, comes back, you let him back in, repeat. You believe that he's changed and all of his promises will be fulfilled but you know better to fall for that again. Deep down you know that this is a cycle and he hasn't changed at all in a matter of two weeks he'll be ignoring you again. But, you still go for it. This behavior comes habitual. Crying so hard, screaming his name, sending him texts like "please talk to me, I don't know what I did.", not getting a response back, wanting to die, that doesn't become habitual. After the first few times you realize he's always going to come back so you start to think "Maybe this is love." Maybe it is some morbid variation of love, but it's not the kind you need--it's not the kind anyone needs. Now you're thinking "This is okay I can deal with this, he comes back to me regardless and I, him. He's my person and I will always love him." Your 'soulmate' has hurt you so bad that you've become accustomed to the pain, your reality has become so warped that you believe being made to feel worthless and unappreciated is love. The omnipresence of pain has suffocated you and you've been without oxygen for way longer than 7 minutes now because this omnipresence has made you believe that hurting 21 days out of a 30 day month is okay because those last 9 days he finally looked your ******* way in class and he finally texted you back. That is not love. And the fact that you believe that goes to show that evolution is real.