Let me feel the cold.
Won't you let the heavens relieve the snow?
Can't I be caved in on the inside out?
I want to feel the bracing cold pain me,
I want to feel it hard.
But nothing will shove away what I feel;
What I feel and what I don't.
I don't know why I always have to **** up,
I don't know what's the best to do for him,
I don't know what I've gone and done.
I don't want to be here.
I told myself not to get anyone else in my life,
Because then it would be easier to want to go,
Maybe I could but I won't because I can't.
I'm left here wondering why I'm so ****** up,
And I admit to him that I am just that,
And he says no you're not and asks me why,
I just say "reasons" and I can't name any;
I can't think of any to name,
Any that won't go down too deep.
Why, oh why can't I ever do anything?
Why can't I just be normal and have the right feelings?