i don't remember how it went, not exactly

i was without rest
or reason or hope
or anchor
and when i reached, my fingertips
couldn't feel
could hardly touch
forget grasping on to anything
i was a raincloud, heavy and aching to spill
but i had sunlight under my skull
and it made my brain burn
and the light poured through the cracks

it felt only right to hammer away
to just let my mind float like it needed to
to be bright
or be like a flood
like something shattered, slammed hard again and again against a wall, something broken over and over and over and over
like a piggy bank
hoping it's worth it
hoping it isn't just
hollow
inside