**** me
Just **** me
But at the same time
Please don't

You have to do it
We both know I won't
So pull the trigger
Drag the blade
Let the blood flow
You have to do it
I won't, I know

I know the pain
The pain that I feel
The things I can't come back from
The wounds that won't heal

The death of my brother
The loss of a friend
But they just keep saying
"This isn't the end"

But what if it is?
Maybe that's what I want
Not just to die
But the choice to give up
Not the decision made for me,
The command to push on
But an option to stop,
If that's what I want

Is that such a selfish thought?
To end the war that I fought
Not us, not we
Not you, just me

I was the one that suffered
Me, the one that bled
Not you,
The one putting guilt in my head

I'm done
Done fighting, done hoping
Done trying
But most importantly;
Done lying

Saying "I'm okay" when on the inside,
I'm crying
Dying
To be heard, to be loved, to believe
Believe that I really am
More than I see

But now,
I'm just done