Sober can technically be defined as not being under the influence of alcohol. I prefer brevity, and so I've always thought of sobriety as a liberation from any and all influences.  

I became depressed during my first semester at college. This is expected. Many young people suffer when they're thrown into new situations with new people. They lose sense of their self worth. I no longer had my mother and father holding my hand telling me "you can do this!" I no longer had the support and affection of lifelong friends who pulled my pigtails in Kindergarden on the playground and held my hair back in the Seaside Heights Carnival bathroom stall senior year. Undying admiration and companionship were miles away, and things became dark. Alcohol was still relatively new and incredibly easy to access. So, I began to drink. A year ago I knew not what a "handle" was, but I was sure it was a mature term. Now, I know all too well the pleasure and pain that is found at the bottom of a bottle.

Drinking was an easy escape. I could be reckless and get away with it. I was hilarious. I was ****. I was stupid. I was sneaky. And slowly, I was dying.

But if anything was going to **** me, it wasn't going to be alcohol. It was going to be myself.