I have secrets,
too many to explain.
I have secrets that I have to push back, far past my mind.
far past my mental is at existing,
locked in a black box with the word Truth spread over its surface.

Truth.

It holds the memories ive forgetten,
keeping me ignorant of my past that used to haunt me at times,
not just in dreams but in the day,
everything reminding me of who I really am.
its the part of me ive locked away so no one can see
because its the real, raw me.
its the person ive tried to forget for a long time,
the person that is crazy and untamed,
haunted by the past she once was.
It holds parts of my heart thats broken off and I cant put back together just yet,
holding them until I can find the right brand of super glue to put piece them back together,
holding them until I realize my heart is hurt and needs repairing but until then…
Im not whole just yet.

Sometimes… something sets off the person inside,
wearing down the box, making it wither and age before its time.
the box is cracks and leaks the secrets it holds slowly,
breaking me down with it,
making the pain I once felt,
making the scars I thought was healed …
Known.
The anger pours in, the sadness deepens and im right back where I was
those years ago,with the little heart I had left in the palm of my hand.
But I have to breathe through all of it and just… catch whats came of the box
and put it where it belongs until the time comes.

Truth spills only when I let go and lose myself,
lose the love and emotion.
I am the master of the box inside my mental and thats all to it.

Whats on My Mental Pt. 1 .