****, I'm listening to bright eyes again
I want to lay on crumbling church steps
with yr big white t shirt hanging loosely on my shoulders &
reaching my knees.
There are two bruises on my knees
Almost identical,
I think it means something,
but I'm not completely sure what that is
yet.
there are people walking on
the empty streets: looking -
I do the same.
I think we're looking for meaning, or something close to that.
I fly to Portland, I think I might find it there.
on the way I look at the Rocky Mountains,
they seem to hold infinity .
And I can see the curves of the roads,
And the rivers,
it reminds me how everything is connected somehow.
i wonder what the roads will lead me to.
Quinn and Madison said they are moving to the clouds
to escape from the world.
I look for them in the sky,
I don't see them, but I know they are up there,
somewhere.
my roads do not lead to clouds any time soon.
I don't find it fair.
but I'm afraid of heights anyways.
I'll conquer my fear one day,
just not today.
everybody I know seems like they want to get out.
whether it's to Oregon or the clouds,
they know it's better somewhere.
the people who are content with staying scare me the most.
they think this is the best
they will ever get.
they spend their weekends in basements, doing the same **** they did last week.
that's not for me.
I don't know where my road will go,
or where I will be twenty years from now,
but it does not end here.
There is a whole world outside of Fishers, Indiana.
this town is not how real life works.
there are dreams I've slept through
and forgotten-
but leaving is a reoccurrence.
The air in Oregon smells like pine trees
and everybody I meet
take effort to get to know me.