when do you know he doesn't feel the same? you ask.

it's when you have to constantly apologise for having feelings for him and having confessed to him. 'sorry. sorry. sorry. for making things awkward. for making things feel like a burden.' like a fcking mantra.

while he doesn't reply at all.

does it break your heart? you were happy when you confessed to him, but when you realised he doesn't feel the same, your heart sinks, like how the anchor firmly goes deep down into the sea, heavy.

it's when, it should never have happened. you couldn't control your feelings. you wanted to express love to that piece of art you revere so much. you looked up to him.

people say love or feelings of like feels magical and all. but maybe not, maybe you thought too much about it just like how you overthink about every single thing. you mind fuzzes, images of clocks crazily ticking away, an alice-in-the-wonderland rabbit appears as well (it was something you were afraid of, that anxiousness)

like oh yeah, what did you expect from him, right? you just wanted to tell him how you feel.

just when we were gonna be friends, i ruined it.
and things just isn't meant to be i guess.