Apr 2016
Dear Little Lyle,
Please forgive me for the things I have done to you. For too long I have been kept you hidden and protected and numb from the world.
I know I hurt you by keeping you away from all the beautiful things life has to offer. I know you're afraid, scared, hurt, and injured by what I have done.
I kept you in darkness where nobody can see you, I kept you quiet so no one can hear you, I kept you bounded so you don't hurt yourself or others, I kept you alone so others don't have to bother you, hurt your, or make fun of you.
I spoke to you before that it be okay but I was wrong I kept on hurting you, I lied to you, forced you to do things to you that injured you and hurt you.
I made you cry, I made you hurt, I made it so that i wanted to **** you, so you don't have to hurt anymore.
I am so sorry for almost taking your life, over and over and over again. I know you were laying there whimpering, alone, and terrified.
I know you just wanted a hug and kind attention.
I am sorry for not giving that to you.
You just wanted a hug, a simple , "I Love you!", just a feeling of a little bit of okayness.
I know you're screaming, yelling, crying, hurting, all alone.
You just wanted someone to talk to, to play with, and run around the playground playing.
I am sorry I keep ****** you and hating you everyday.
I am so so so sorry. I am so sorry I keep lying to you and denying you any kind of kindness, love, and comfort.
Those people that hurt you, yelled at your, touched you, hit you, and made of your are now gone.
I am so sorry for trying to **** you everyday of every second, I am so sorry. I know you want you just want a hug and someone to tell you the monsters and clowns are gone, they are, I know made it impossible to love me again, but please find it in your little heart, little hands, and little self to please forgive me and to love me again.
I didn't know what else to do but to hide you from all the monsters, pain, tears, and blood.
In the dark nobody could see you but me, I am sorry for keeping you there for so long.
It will be okay, you will be okay, all the monsters are gone. You don't have to be afraid of me. I am kind, gentle, fun, energetic, and helpful.
I am so sorry for hurting you, and for allowing others to hurt you so. Please believe me when i say it will be okay, the monsters are gone, you don't have to hide anymore, you don't have to run away anymore. Remember when we were little we'd always asked god for special powers, he gave them to me to protect you and keep you safe, but it was my fault for failing to do those things, but the monsters are gone.
The monsters are gone, the screaming, and hurting is gone.
We don't have to fight anymore.
You don't have to hide anymore.
You can come and play in the light and in the dark, nobody will hurt you.
Nobody will hurt you!
I will care for you, love you, and teach you.
I will still protect you and make it safe and comfortable as much as possible. It's okay, It's okay, the monsters are gone.
with love,
Lyle K. Barber
Please forgive me for the things I have done to you. For too long I have been kept you hidden and protected and numb from the world.
I know I hurt you by keeping you away from all the beautiful things life has to offer. I know you're afraid, scared, hurt, and injured by what I have done.
I kept you in darkness where nobody can see you, I kept you quiet so no one can hear you, I kept you bounded so you don't hurt yourself or others, I kept you alone so others don't have to bother you, hurt your, or make fun of you.
I spoke to you before that it be okay but I was wrong I kept on hurting you, I lied to you, forced you to do things to you that injured you and hurt you.
I made you cry, I made you hurt, I made it so that i wanted to **** you, so you don't have to hurt anymore.
I am so sorry for almost taking your life, over and over and over again. I know you were laying there whimpering, alone, and terrified.
I know you just wanted a hug and kind attention.
I am sorry for not giving that to you.
You just wanted a hug, a simple , "I Love you!", just a feeling of a little bit of okayness.
I know you're screaming, yelling, crying, hurting, all alone.
You just wanted someone to talk to, to play with, and run around the playground playing.
I am sorry I keep ****** you and hating you everyday.
I am so so so sorry. I am so sorry I keep lying to you and denying you any kind of kindness, love, and comfort.
Those people that hurt you, yelled at your, touched you, hit you, and made of your are now gone.
I am so sorry for trying to **** you everyday of every second, I am so sorry. I know you want you just want a hug and someone to tell you the monsters and clowns are gone, they are, I know made it impossible to love me again, but please find it in your little heart, little hands, and little self to please forgive me and to love me again.
I didn't know what else to do but to hide you from all the monsters, pain, tears, and blood.
In the dark nobody could see you but me, I am sorry for keeping you there for so long.
It will be okay, you will be okay, all the monsters are gone. You don't have to be afraid of me. I am kind, gentle, fun, energetic, and helpful.
I am so sorry for hurting you, and for allowing others to hurt you so. Please believe me when i say it will be okay, the monsters are gone, you don't have to hide anymore, you don't have to run away anymore. Remember when we were little we'd always asked god for special powers, he gave them to me to protect you and keep you safe, but it was my fault for failing to do those things, but the monsters are gone.
The monsters are gone, the screaming, and hurting is gone.
We don't have to fight anymore.
You don't have to hide anymore.
You can come and play in the light and in the dark, nobody will hurt you.
Nobody will hurt you!
I will care for you, love you, and teach you.
I will still protect you and make it safe and comfortable as much as possible. It's okay, It's okay, the monsters are gone.
with love,
Lyle K. Barber
