too many thoughts
on this crowded elevator,
in my brain that is chained,
shackled by prior misery,
haunted by my adolescence,
cursed by the atrocities of my youth...

I'm vying for agony,
with fantasies of a noose,
a knot that slips the pain away...
for that pain must be cut loose,
before I cut lines on a mirror,
or lines on my arms,
to charm the legion of evil,
in their playground of my mind...

on the glass of my eyes,
they're always tapping...
tap..tap..tap...
letting me know they're still in there...
that they haven't gone anywhere...
no matter the pressure I apply,
with my spiritual cries to the divine,

they need to come out,
to eat a hearty meal...
so I try to conceal my zeal,
the lust to set them free...

but the more I resist them,
in this persistent reality,
the more they try harder,
to destroy me in my dreams...