you were already born
you were already form
you were already you
Not yet, were you them
Not yet were you His.
He was too late it wasn't His fault.

There you stood, ****** still and innocent,
Lead in, unknown, you were in His home
you were already thinking, already grown, already able to contemplate, could already understand, always tried to, already dangerous,
you were not solid wood as the all and only people He already knew.

Why would He not take hammer to you?
Love you as only He knew
Fix all that was wrong inside
Cheerfully plain you of your top layer of skin, strip away imperfection
He didn't know He wasn't god.
Inside his home He was.

One day as he was trying, you were trying, ******* trying to be a chair or a chest of drawers stood there in varnish while He chipped away at the painted or tainted ends of your toes His frustration grows,

Shout.

Not around you
right into you

Shout.

An emotion as never before
hard, cold, inexorable, force, the power of adults.

Into your mouth its forced, fleming, gagging, one day drowning, with haired hands, holding you open, this grey anger, flesh pushed further,
an anxiety un-swalable
you barely understand the shape of his words,

You Are Unlovable.

an almost perfect dot appears.
Its on the new outside skin in the middle of your throat ,
How could you know?

.