I don't think you understand the person that I am. I don't think I have more energy to make this relationship more than it is because no matter what I want it to be, it is always going to stay how it really is. I do not feel angry at you right now, simply because I do not have the energy in me to feel anger. I just feel drained, that's all. At this point, I don't know what is the right thing to do. All I know is that this relationship is draining me more than it should. I am a paranoid person and that is the truth. Lying to me, so elaborately for whatever reason is not healthy for my mind. It also means, that I cannot trust you again, even if you say something as simple as "I had pasta for lunch, today." I just cannot. I had told you before about my paranoia (about cameras in my apartment, people watching through my window, doubting everything anyone ever says etc) but you still went ahead and lied to me. Specially, abandoning me when I needed someone the most. That means, I cannot depend on you again. I am scared to be alone, just like you are and everyone else is but I cannot give my hundred percent in a relationship that drains me this much. Again, I don't know what is the right thing to do so I am going to go with the flow and not get worked up about this. But I would like to say, that I do not look at us as a serious relationship anymore. I would be more comfortable if I were only dating you and not calling it a relationship. If that is okay with you, I would be okay with seeing you and giving a chance to adjust. Also, I would like my childhood photograph and the journal pages back; you can keep the letters.