THE DEVIL IN MY LIFE

Dark cloud who casts a shadow on my soul
You make days overcast and gray
You flatten my senses until I feel nothing
You follow me like a faithful dog and never want to leave me
But now I see your leash is but a chain
Dragging me through life like a ****** prisoner
Reminding me I'm old when I'm not
Telling me my life is dull but it's not
Suggesting my accomplishments are few when they're not
Making me wonder if I'm depressed when I'm not
Keeping me from smiling and laughing
From deep gratitude
Hiding from me that I can have it all

Well, my faithful devil, I am done with you
I am angry and will no longer honor this marriage
Which you contrived – I never agreed to it
This is a divorce and it is final
When I feel you breathing down my neck
I will exhale with all my might and blast you out
You can descend into hell where you belong
And I will smile and I will feel my soul
And yes, I will connect with it
I will not, I refuse to let that connection with self die

I will not heed your persistent murmur
That nothing and void and emptiness is all we've got
I have connected with self and it is good
There is magic – I have tasted it
Stop it with your constant bantering that none of it is real

I am going to surrender to the magic
And I will not let you stop me
I'm done with you

And if you haunt me, I will raise my arms
And I will close my eyes and see beauty
I will peer into a flower and lose myself
I will remember all the gifts I have received
I will look at my husband with love
And I will give thanks.  No thanks to you.

I'm tired of the devil in my life
I'm ready to give the angels a try

Julia Burnier
January 30, 2016