You're so close to perfect.
So close to being everything...
I'm fearing the day it comes.
I fear the day I look at you and feel that warm breeze of flirtation become a blazing heat in my heart.
A need for you.
Your heart and body.
Your soul and scars and flaws and...
Everything.
I fear the day I fall in love again.
I fear it's already happened.
I fear that craving of your affection,
Your attention, and your need for me, too.
I'm afraid to be scared to lose you.
I'm afraid of connecting and attaching.
I want to be brave.
I want to look at all this and say "It's okay. You've never let go. You're strong and you're smart and you're brave. You love him. It's okay."
I want to feel alright.
That this fear is nothing. It's just a small worry.
But it's crippling.
It's terrifying me.
If I love you...
Then I can never have thoughts without you again.
I can't sleep a night without wanting your voice on my ears,
And your touch in my hair.
I fear I love you...
Again.