Watching you struggle
Is like clenching your hair
In gentle fistfuls
Trying to keep your lolling head still
While you kneel in front of a toilet.

Puking.

With each lurch farther
into the depths of the bowl
You release a stifled noise
Whimpering like a hurt puppy.
It makes me want to rewind time
And swipe that last shot glass
Away from your giggly mouth.

But I can’t do that.
I can barely offer comfort
All I can do is be practical.
All I can do is make sure
***** doesn’t get in your hair.

As the toilet water rises with bile
My emotions push my common sense.
But my feelings don’t matter.
I can feel whatever I want
In the long run
I can’t do anything.
But keep holding your hair.

I can’t do anything.
But sweep back your hair.
Away from your cheekbones
Like curtains
Revealing a show.

I can’t do anything.
But watch the show.
Mesmerized with
The arching of your neck
And the convulsions of your back.

All I can do

Is stare at your back

And hold your hair.

(I’m so sorry
I just want
to hold your face
in my hands
Please forgive me)


All I can do
Is hold your hair