Her fears lived among her, what she tried facing, she always retreated and ran away from. What I ran away from!
Even though it seemed to be in her thoughts or imagination, it felt real and traumatized her! Darkness creeping along her bed side, she barely made a sound, she muffled under her breath as her tears filled her pretty eyes. I always said to myself, "its going to be okay, its just my mind playing games, these things, or feelings are just a phase. Maybe the pills are making me this way, it'll all be over soon. Monsters aren't even real? Mama said that monsters only exist in people. She mumbled to herself. Arms covered with cuts and marks  from previous suicide attempts, throat with black and blue rope markings still there from age 10 when mama saved me from trying hurt myself using a jump rope.  I dont understand how I'm still here! she cries hysterical. The doctor takes notes. She passed away on my 15th birthday, she just stopped breathing in the bathroom on the floor. Mama had some issues too, but she had it worse! I just stood and watched her soul be taken by what I believe was darkness but some others say is insanity. I couldn't save her, but she saved my life, now I'm here! Soon enough I knew I'd be the one in my family to be put in a crazy house because I was afraid of myself and the dark things I felt that hurt me. Maybe that hurt my mama. So what do I think happened when I look back, you ask? Well, my fears killed my spirit a long time ago, my happiness died, my hope is empty. I'm just a monster! A stupid monster mama warned me about.. So, Does that answer your question doc?❤

By : Mikayla Jenelle Cook