Mind so jumbled, I’ve forgotten how to speak words that can complete the thoughts that fill each lobe of my brain with terror. I got so comfortable in this new existence, I forgot there are still hardships left. A lump in my larynx makes breathing stiff, Unsteady beats pulse in my neck through a throat that’s quickly closing. I should stop being surprised by the chatter I hear, the defamations, the deceit, the dishonesty, but I don’t know how to comprehend a human being who acts so inhuman. We are supposed to be a complex species, unique in our ability to show love and compassion, to place others ahead of ourselves, to act from a heart that can understand the immensity of a tear shed out of sheer benevolence, but all I’ve experienced from the spectral bluster of a web where the spider lies is an animalistic need to please one’s own desires to the point of pathological nepotism. Dear Lord, just steady the drum in my chest as I fold my hands to pray.