It devours you from the inside, feelings, memories.  It literally destroys you from the inside.

I've got a hole in my soul and it's growing deeper,  and deeper. Day by day and that hole, it grows even more when you feel sad or, even.

You know how they say "What doesn't **** you, makes you stronger"?  that's just utter bullsh*t.  In most cases that which doesn't **** you, makes you wish you were dead.

And thus after all this time, the hole has grown deeper and bigger, you try to hide it and you actually manage to do it quite well, untill..  someone comes into your life: a friend, a soulmate, someone that's just as ****** up as you are with all the scars on their heart and soul.

please don't leave, Yours truly
-R.