You'll see me smiling,
As I walk down the streets at night,
Under lamp posts with my earphones on,
Listening to the music that have comforted me for so long.

I'd open the door to a convenience store,
I'd get myself some food and something to drink,
Probably a 6 pack of alcohol,
When people ask I just answer, "i have insomnia."

And as I open my hotel room door,
And place my grocery bag on the floor,
I take out my tv dinner and turn on my phone's wifi,
Scrolling up and down my facebook timeline.

Then I eat my dinner and turn on the tv,
Have a laugh or two about something on there,
I don't even know why,
But it's just that it's funny.

And then I open a bottle for myself,
Only to lose my smile and my laugh,
To ponder on what it is I have left,
To keep telling myself it's okay.

As I assume my fetal position,
And lay in bed before falling to sleep,
I can still feel the wounds,
The cuts that were so deep,

So I sing to my pillow,
The songs that made me smile,
All I wish is that people leave me alone,
And they stop asking why.

Because I'm all balled up with sadness and tears,
That I can feel my nightmares climbing it's way up to my throat,
Lacing my skin with dark thorns and spikes like a porcupine's
I don't need your pity, not a pat on the back, i just need sleep, it's just something I lack