expectations:
I stepped out of the car
you returned my smile
the palpable emotion between us pulsing
I make my way to you
wrap my arms around your waist
rest my head on your chest
like I have done so many times before
I look up and smile into brown eyes
I have looked into for so long
we sit in the same spot as our final date
and I say those words I never told you
"I love you" passed my lips
your smile spread across your face
as you return those same three words
I apologize for making situations difficult
and I remember why I always felt safe with you
you call me kid
and I smile because I started that two years ago
I slide your coarse hand between my fingers
I hear that laugh that I miss so much
and I feel warmth radiate across my body
my heart beats fast
and I listen to you talk about anything on your mind
and you slide a small paper origami bird
across the table
just like you used to
some things never change

reality:
I stepped out of the car,
tried not to smile too wide
the years of pain and emotion strung between us as I walk to you
we don't touch
but sit down at a table instead
your hair is shorter than I remember
and you have less ****** hair
and your brown eyes look like they have seen a lot in your 21 years
we sit in the same place as our last date
and I try to say "I love you"
but I can't get the courage to say it, just like last time
I can't tell if you even feel that way anymore
I apologize for making situations so difficult
and remember why I always felt dangerous with you
you don't call me kid
because we aren't close enough for that anymore
I feel my hands tingle as I sit on them to keep from shaking
you don't laugh anymore
because you probably think I would try to break that too.
I feel a chill go over my body and my leg bounces up and down like it used to
and we talk about the weather
because the weather doesn't have anything to do with us
and I slide my chair back from the table
and walk away
some things never change