I miss my home.
I miss having time to be with myself.
I miss my best friend and my cat and i miss the kitchen floor and the sound the stairs make at 4 am.
I miss the house i grew in, but it's ironic how i kind of hated it when i was there.
I have so many memories, most of them awful, to be honest.
All the terrible things that happened in that house seem to fade away whenever i miss it.

I'm not sure of being capable of doing this.
Right now i'm not quite sure of being brave enough to deal with it and i don't want to be.
I am so obsessed with stability.

I always think of when you used to say that everyone needs changes in their lives to become who they're meant to be.
And if any of that was true, why do i keep going through this? Why does everything seem to change but nothing ever really does?

I've been reliving those three years ever since you left.
Sometimes i wish i could go back and start it all over.
I wish none of us had suffered the way we did
and i wish you stayed.