I have a secret,
but I'd like it to stay between the two of us,
I used to smoke
like twelve cigarettes at a time,
because I thought it would impress you.
I used to wear jean dresses with cut-oust in the hips,
knee high fishnet socks,
and wear my hair in one of those bandanas
with thick black eyeliner
because I thought it was your definition
of a rebel.
I used to scream really loudly,
and drink ***** out of shot glasses
with glitter at the bottom
listening to something toxic on the radio
telling  me to get high,
because I thought that's what you wanted.
I used to steal things from convenient stores
with a bunch of boys in thermal jackets,
things like bubblegum and alcohol
late at night,
because I thought it was cool.
I used to move from place to place,
the speed of a lonely heart dragging me,
after I just made love to some guy I met
who was dancing up on me in the mosh pit,
because I thought somehow it would get me to you.
I used to **** around like it wouldn't catch up to me,
I used to bury my skin in lies like it would change the truth
that this love is a drug
and I'm addicted to you