it's a mysterious feeling, right? being in love.
you think about your other half everyday, how he's doing, how was his day, if he was happy or not. you wish you could give him everything you have.

on cloud nine.
you miss seeing his face even if it's just within 24 hours.
tell him sweet nothings.
be with him.
texting the whole day.
you feel euphoria all over your body, you want to feel this feeling forever, you wanna feel happy. just talking to him would suffice. go on simple dates. he added colours to my life. and i love seeing colors. i hated black and white in the form of photos.

but what if, it turns out that everything was a lie? you thought you were in love.
him telling you he liked you. calling you babe. telling you you'll always be his babe.

it's then that you come to a realisation that you've not met him before, it was just words and empty promises, you were trapped in your own illusion. your world instantly turned back into that dull, boring and grey life.

those words. maybe you made them up in you mind. you liked him too much to think rationally. you imagined joyful scenarios with him. your future with him. dates with him. everything just started to crumble down. you believed in everything he said. until now you realised not everything was true.

he can lie to you once, he'll do it again. being sad and crying so much because of him.  you don't even know if it's forced tears or if it's real anymore.

you have no idea what is real. you start screaming. grabbing your head on both sides. clenching you hair. sitting while hugging your knees. brawl your eyes out. you thought everything was real, or some part of it was real.

i know we're not meant to be. maybe everything was a lie. i hate you for doing this to me. i once wish you were dead and never appear in my life ever again. i'd rather you ***** up other girl's lives than mine.

you left. and i'm left stranded here. it's fine. i'm fine. i'll get over this somehow. erase all those memories of you, even though it hurts. i swear it hurts so much i wish i could let go of everything and just not believe in love anymore. i'll forget you. i'll do it forcefully if need be.

wish we never fcking existed in each other's lives.

so tell me, is love a choice or a feeling?