It's the holiday season
Christmas eve to be exact
I'm sitting at home with a cat in my lap
The television is on
A Christmas special
What else is on?

**, **, **!
Says the santa on TV
Trying to spread joy and cheer
I smile a little then look over at you
Eyes glazed over, nursing a beer
Tears begin to well
I turn away
Who knows how you'd act if you saw my face.

I look out the window at all the snow I see
Wondering what is exactly out there for me
Standing up, I grab my coat
"Where you goin?" he slurs, a hiccup in his throat
With no response I go
Right out the door

It's a little bit chilly
But, I do not mind
Walking down the New York streets
On Christmas Eve night
The street lamps are on and I can see all around
The houses lit up
They truly are homes

The family cozied up
All around the tree
Ornaments and lights
Tinsel and beads
I stop and I stare
If they saw me, I wouldn't care
The family inside
Oh, how nice it would be

I keep walking, my head held down
Thinking about the joy of the families around
I can't help thinking
Somehow....I missed out.

I walk down the street
Down to the local park
It's where we first met
But, things are different now
Sitting on a bench, I take in the scene
Freshly laid snow, not tainted by feet.

A couple comes by and I close my eyes
They're just like we were
Walking so late at night
Hand in hand
Kisses galore
Giggles and laughs
It brings them back

We used to have that
A love so true
Now I'm wondering what happened to you
I never thought this is the way it'd be
Afraid to come home
Afraid of what you might do to me

It's time to go home
How nice it'd be to walk the other way
My feet move reluctantly against my will
Leading my home
Leading me back to you

I walk in the door
You're nowhere to be found
I see a note on the couch
It reads "You're better alone"
I hear you upstairs as I walk in the room
"I thought you'd be longer"
You're there, packing a bag
Both of us look down, tears in our eyes
How can we salvage all of these lies?

You come to me and I flinch for a second
Until you look at me, soft and warm
A tear runs down and you wipe it away
I can't look at you, I just wish you'd get out of my face
"I know things have changed"
You're getting choked up now
I've never seen you cry
It's about **** time

You sit on the bed
Your head in your hands
"I want to change back
Please give me another chance
I'm getting some help
Please take me back"
You're in tears now
Pleading in your eyes
I know you had prepared to say our last goodbye

You're eyes
They don't lie
I know you're genuine inside
I walk to you, cradling your head to my chest
"My darling, it's Christmas Eve night"
You look up at me, sadness in your eyes
I say "This night can be salvaged, break open the wine".