the things i'll keep and the things i won't
and the things i'll bury and the things i'll hold
and   the things you see and the things you don't
and the things you wonder and the things you know

the worry you hide and the fear you show
the way things bite      the way life blows
to an  away and beyond
horizon-binding     no more zone to hold my roots to
blowing me far into unknowing
      away and beyond

     the furthest   away and beyond
but my name means near
          so what is here in the away
what is here in the beyond
is my new here

my name means near so
that's what i try to make

when life pushes me again

that's what i try to make

fold far into half the distance. fold far into half.
grieve less. grieve less. i tell myself what
i need and it's to grieve less.

all my comfort is  untold
unfold this concept of near till the space between your fingers says i trust you and the space between your thumb and index is how i don't
i thought i could freeze myself into this
      but instead i'm unfolding
harder now. unfolding all of it
all of my weapons on the table
there it is again that
familiar nothing and you
can't escape this and i can't
stop this
this is the space between your thumb and index but four times bigger again. coming back over again
to make sure it's harder.
to make sure it's harder to go back