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Mar 2016
In my head I’m on my knees
Hands over my ears
Trying to block the voices in my head
From yelling,
From screaming at me.

But you can’t block out voices that are within,
So they continue this racket of torture
This monumental mass of self destruction
“You’ll never be good enough!”
“You can’t do this!”
Their voices hoarse from yelling at me
Because they do it all the time.
And I want to give up, oh god, I want to give up.

I’m spiraling down down down
Into a sea of my own creation,
Made of tears and regret and wasted hope
I don’t know how much longer I can stay on my knees
Praying to a god I don’t think exists.
Trying to halt what cannot be stopped
Just like you can’t stop a heart from breaking.

“Nothing is wrong with the educational system”
They say
But how can that be true
When there are countless other kids
Just like me?
Losing themselves to numbers, to statistics, to tests, to homework
Never knowing how to breath,
Because the weight of school bears down on them
Like Atlas, they try to hold the world.
But no one can hold the world,
And so they’re crushed under it.

Just like I am crushed by these voices.
well this went 101 ways.....
Anna Dulaney
Written by
Anna Dulaney
1.2k
   --- and Busbar Dancer
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