I couldn't remember anything about particle physics or lucid dreams when I was the sky. I could only be, I could only swirl across the great paradox of everything and nothing. I could only watch the things that happened within me. It was like a beautiful symphony, one that needed me but operated without me, one that defined me without taking a single chisel to my being.
So what was it like to be the sun? You changed me daily. You let my core revolve around you and you helped me spin. You let me see new places, you clouded me and cleared me, you cut through me and reached in deep and redecorated my insides with barely a word. But when you cracked, when you went supernova on this little quiet galaxy, you burned right through me and exposed my insides to the elements. My outer glow was gone, my inner self was singed, and what I thought I was, I wasn't. It was like watching a plane crash. It was like I was a passenger who learned he was a pilot but couldn't stop the fall.
So what was it like to be the tiny crack that tore the engine off?
I know I'll never know what you were thinking, but I know I'll always wonder. I know I'll wake up and it will all have been a crazy dream, but I know I'll never shake this feeling that we're all not quite here. We're all shedding skins. We've all died in our sleep and we've all opened our eyes on the other side. We're all living on another new day, thousands of years from the last one. We'll never know the difference every time that the world ends. Here we are again. Where are we again?
Wherever you are today, whoever you are today, remember that we start again each morning and you're the one dreaming this up, so make it a good one, yeah? Do it for me, because I still remember the day you were the sun and the day I was the sky, and you owe me one, love, for letting you go. Whoever I am, whoever you are, let's get going before we all start all over again. Alright?
Alright.
Okay?
Okay.
[Aug. 9, 2011]