the thoughts in my head scream I'm better off dead and my body sludge's through the day I am the prospect of a generation X teen pregnancy a dead beat father and an overly religious mother they've always told me that they only want the best for me but what is best for me deep down inside I don't know anything I just feel a hollowness and that I'm stuck walking around in some sort of limbo like my life is on pause and I'm left to prep for the next scene but what is the next scene I don't know everything is a blur my routine never changes I do the same **** just on a different day of the year is this what the last years of being young are floating aimlessly around until you settle for a job and a woman to come home to everyday I don't know is being young about drinking away your countenance so you don't feel bad and talking to multiple woman all at once all only in hopes of getting into their pants and then never speaking to them again is this really everything we dreamed about as kids we wanted to be cops and fire fighters doctors and nurses but in the end we only end up as drug addicts alcoholics *** slaved screen glued Catholics eating up gossip faster then GMOs and eating up the worlds resources making it harder to survive I don't know deep down inside I wish I did I really do what's so magical about me or you there is nothing pretty in the lust and greed frenzy we share and there is nothing cute about the way we deny our despair we self hate so we self medicate and take it out on someone else and they continue the cycle so in turn they feel unsure and take hollow tips to head from a hunting rifle of they try to hang in there only to end up hanging in a garage we post tag and like anything funny yet stay silent about serious issues to avoid looking like a dummy in the crowd we mock the dead without hesitation and we betray those we love due to selfish motivation is this what living is all about this can't be it we have suicide prevention hotlines but what if death is better then this **** we live in a world where the contents of your wallet make you important and a paper degree make you elite your degree makes you no better then me we live in a world where everyone is a wolf in sheeps clothing praying on each other But I do know if the world would stop spinning I don't think i'd miss it