I wear my long sleeves like they are tissues
Tears in constant motion over minor issues
I told myself one day I'll grow stronger
I guess I've been lying to myself longer
Than I have ever lied to anyone.
Swooning over people that are to be won
Just so they could create a vortex of ache
Some even claim it to be for my own sake
No! I don't think you hurting me is for me
I floated in water but you drowned me in the sea.

People tell me to stop listening. STOP LISTENING!
I HAVE TRIED, I have tried staring at sun's glistening
But their words still seep through the cracks and gaps
Of a wall erected between me and their word traps
THEIR WORDS still penetrate my soul with their hatred
Even with all the barriers and constructed obstructions I created.

I tried ignoring, the problem intensifies
Like a tiny droplet in the vast skies
That slowly but surely becomes a storm
I tried changing myself, to slowly conform
But even then I was still a complete pariah
With words of hate that singed me like fire
With a full change I was still a social reject
Somehow unable to follow their presets
I tried embracing my outcasted features
I got my blood dried by hatefilled leeches
Spouting out completely taunting lies
To accompany my already tumbling sky.

I found poetry, I decided to write till my heart is content
But even then I was still a reject with more holes than dents
With no where else to vent but sit shallow in my grave
I guess I have one foot in the grave and that's brave
Because I'm already willing to accept my death
I'm already willing to accept my last and final breath.

They say powerful poetry will show you yourself
And all I see is a lonely man screaming for some help
Only to be responded with silence and emptiness
I got criticised for embracing my inner darkness
I got crticised for being the light of a dark room
So I am torn in between trying to be happy and gloom.

Poetry has shown me that I'm immature for my age
As though I'm still that same little kid on that stage
Urinating and crying for his parents' care mid show,
I'm not the kid caught in between a volcano and snow
I'm not the kid checking under his own bed for monsters
Not because I finally have all my fears conquered
But because the imaginary parts of my life are gone
Everything fell in motion like I was an axon
Gone are the tooth fairies, gone are santas and elves
Gone are the comic books and games on the shelves
Gone are the stuffed toys that decorated my bed
ALL GONE like the positive light that recur in my head
ALL GONE like the people who coddled me in false promise
Now I just roam the streets for someone who's honest
But the monsters that escaped the captivity under my feet
Is lurking and hiding behind the shadows of the street.

I am not the same little kid who cried when things go wrong
I am a man who became all the things people thought were wrong