life will not wait
not for my decision
what it brings me
will be what it is

a day of joy
bright and cheery
a day of sorrow
dark and dreary

I have no choice
no control

those of joy
when they come
they're wonderful
I feel all is well
I see myself
on top of the world

those of sorrow
as if from nowhere
they appear
leaving me sad
lonely
feeling buried
beneath my troubles
no way to rise
not from the spiritual grave
that they dig for me

where is the escape
promised from my youth

where I wonder
is that silver lining
that easement
that is supposed to come
with the storms

my search only leaves darkness
the deep grey of a clouded heart
while the comfort is there
being hidden by my expectations
rather than received through acceptance