Home

I walked away from home last night, with it's warm lights, good food, and comforting memories.
I walked into the cold, and the snow looked like stardust and I swore I'd left this earth.
I wanted to.
I wore no jacket against the cold, what's the point when you're trying to remind yourself how to feel.
And the wind spoke sonnets into my skin with icy tongues, causing me to shiver like a leaf in a hurricane.
I could not shake the feeling of being watched.

I took a walk with the moon last night and the stars looked like someone had spilled salt across a black table.
The ground was slick with ice and I was alone. I saw no one. The world was silent as it always was to this sort of thing.
Who cares?
I'll be back by morning, but I'll never go home.
I can't.
There is no home in a world like this.
Not for anyone.
And especially not for me.

If I walked far enough I'd reach the feathered edges of existence.
I wanted to go further into the darkness that lay there.
My red hair wrapped around me like a cloak.
A beacon of color against a sea of black.
A match, flickering into oblivion.
I felt a hole open up in my chest, as if my lungs would split open and out would pour the sorrow of the galaxy.
My eyes ached as though they were capable of crying the salt of a thousand oceans. And the fabric of my life began to unravel before my eyes.
Fraying strings sticking out from my finger tips.
I did not see the cliff on which I walked.
I did not see the ravenous water below, or how I was only a few steps from the edge.
My arms had unraveled into thousands of threads that blew lightly in the breeze, hanging haphazardly by my sides.
And my eyes were set on the dark horizon before me, so I didn't even feel my right foot step directly into emptiness...

And then there was you.
Your firm hands grabbing my arm, the only thing holding me from oblivion
You pulled me back, away from the cliff, to the beginning of the darkness
And suddenly I was enveloped in your light as you wrapped me in your warm embrace.
All I could see was the sun, and all I could feel was the happiness that flowed through your veins as we connected and it began to fill mine.
You picked each thread up tenderly, painstakingly weaving my soul back together, stitching a bit of your love into each nerve.
All I feel is you.
You are a part of me.
Your soothing words occupy my every thought
Your touch sending sparks across my pale skin, setting me alight
You are everything.

I found myself a home last night as the darkness disappeared
And in the gaping hole it left, I found you
And in your arms I found a home.