(The one I put my heart into that you read and promptly handed back to me)

*T,

You know as well as I do that when I want something, I don't know how to give it up. I don't think I have ever loved anything as much as you or wanted anything as badly as I want you and so I have absolutely no choice but to keep trying.
I don't know how to stop loving.
Trust me, I am trying so hard.
I’ve gone on my fair share of dates
And gotten a kitten to distract me
And cut my hair to start over
But dates make me sad because
They don't hold my hand the way you do
And I love my kitten but
She reminds me of you more than she helps me forget
And my hair is short now but
I still have no interest in a fresh start
If it doesn't include you.

Maybe I wasn't supposed to stop loving you.
It feels like the whole world is trying to prevent me from getting over you.
And so I will keep choosing you.
Without pause, without doubt, without hesitation.
I will always choose you.

I cannot give up.
I know I can fix it.
I know I can be better.
I just need the chance.
Please give me one more chance.
Until then, I will keep trying to get over you-
No, until then, I will keep waiting for you to come back.

“Have courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.”
-Maya Angelou

Love (Always),
S

P.S. I will send you three hundred letters if I have to.
Three thousand even.
Three zillion trillion.