The stench of stale tobacco
Has seeped into the plaster
In the time since my departure
The oven needs a washing
Noodle bits hang on the burner like time clings to itself
& memories unrelenting haunt me as I walk the hall
Where claws tore holes in carpet leading to your room
Where the bushes outside your window erupted under an unnatural sky
In the summer getting drunk on heat
Springtime turning into winter’s bones where banks of snow were catapulting
Cars in slow motion volleys of thought which showed
Something unutterable in their stillness
Hot tea shoveling that white Indian
Headdress of yours I found
Hung on the broken oil lamp now busted by some drunkard
As the springtime turned into windows
Sheltered neighbors in the spray-painted garage
And you never swept the floor
In the morning the cat would make it known
That he was only animal seeking freedom of the soul
And in time he and I would yowl in unison
Deliberately writing off those subtle energies
Too difficult to define in images
Met me halfway in the garden
Where your weeds and roses twist
With your hedges overgrown
& the grassy clover crickets
Uncut all year long
I want to clean your dishes
I want to sweep your floor
I want to vacuum up the crumbs we both left on the floor
I want to scrub the toilet and the sink
I want the smell of Lysol in my pores
I want the bleach to **** the mildew
I want to cultivate a habit
I want you to let me get to work
But you refuse my offer
As you light another smoke
& throw the pack to the floor
Your ash tray is overflowing

I don’t know where to start