i'm sorry that the first breath i bring into this world
is one deep filled with pollution
corruption
fear
& the deep raging of man

i'm sorry that you can't revel in your nakedness
without the piercing of a perverts eye
or the prodding of a Catholics lance
and that you have to grow up, an Amazon
fiercely protecting your innocence
from those wanting to beat against it
until it resembles
the tattered skin
of a well worn drum

i’m sorry that the acceptance of self
is illusionary
in terms of cosmo stars wafer thin and skeletal
and that your identity
will be lost in sizes real women don't exist in
and isn’t in the way
real men are actually perceived

i'm sorry that the meaning of friends
will often turn into the meaning enemies
who start rumors
turning you into a ***** to be shunned
while your virginity is vilely forgotten
in the backseat of a make-believe van
or that falsities will lie in telling you
being a man doesn't extend
beyond the six inches
you hold at night

i can't apologize enough for the things you will find
lacking in others
and the sad absence of esteem
that will slowly ebb away from yourself
like dehydrated flowers in the sun
from ****** of bullies needling,
seeing the popping of pills,
dodgin the shattering of bullets,
or the repetitive
gulluting
purging
gulluting of food
and yes even from love, unprotected

i apologize you will have to learn
that high school will be a social prison
****** privy from your open grasp
and stripping you of your identity
by barring you of expressive freedom
forcing you into cliquish nightmares
to survive for protection

i'm sorry that you may come to know
what parenthood is before i have yet
to figure it out
or that when it is time to venture
into the world alone
that college will be a constant search for self
because what defines you will change
daily based on the opinion of others

i’m sorry you will learn
even as an adult that all men are not honest
and that you will be revered
as an object
to be had and not held
as an object
to be acquired and conquered
then quickly forgotten.

i apologize that your life will not be
the fairytale promised to you
and that the ethics and morals
instilled will be something
you're challenged to swallow
more than the daily bread and wine
you eat and drink

i would hope that you would know
you are more than the game you play
that your brain extends beyond the passing of a ball
and that the easy way to the top is not
by climbing into bed
falling flat on your back

i am sorry that
until you are old or i am dead
i must keep a sharp eye and a constant tight grasp
only to prevent you from running head first
into the world and cracking it
upon every wall  presented to you

forgive me for making me show you
the difference between
right and wrong
**** and love
honesty and duplicity
strength and weakness
sound principalities and ill gotten gains

i am sorry that
that when you get my age
crows feet will fall from the sky
and land on your face
gravity will pull at your skin
till it swings like pendulums
in the late time of your life
and that pink ribbons will
no longer belong
in your hair
but over your *******

forgive me but i must tell you
not to succumb to the *******
of a doctors tool
but to relish in your old age
knowing that it is your reward
and only proof
that you lived long
and loved hard

i’m sorry that out of my brief moment of pleasure
my ****** brings you into a world filled with so much pain

how selfish of me

but to think that maybe
just maybe
you came into this world
knowing my good intentions
and maybe
the first breath i bring into this world
will be one deep filled with purity
candor
valor
& the deep raging for equality

and that maybe
just maybe
my ******
finally did something right
after all