i was yours. i was fine with it at first, i was completely fine, in fact i was begging you'd invite me into your heart. and you did. and i was shocked. you let me in? you began loving me? our eyes met once, and from then on we immediately knew we were in love, but had no idea of it yet.

only two weeks pass. we were awkward, we began talking. i couldn't believe you even looked back at me that first day.

"i really wanna kiss you right now. would that be okay?"
i don't know, would it? i said yes of course.  i was breathless, shaking, nervous. i wanted to kiss you too. so when you leaned in, i leaned back, and for the first time our lips touched and my stomach felt like it was rising into my ribs.

a month later. can you take off my clothes?
of course, i was willing, i was also nervous and had to keep swallowing from throwing up fear. i let you open me, release my thoughts and emotions and have me completely. i was yours. but of course, i was already yours to begin with.

a year later. you said you didn't love me anymore. i can't believe i stayed with you, begging you to love me again. the other day i came across our old messages and i felt ashamed, embarrassed. i couldn't believe how desperate i was for you to want me back like you did before.

six months later. we were still together, but i left you this time. i was serious. i didn't think you loved me anymore, like you had said. i thought we were over. but you called me, crying, begging for me back. you reminded me of all our memories and i even remember some things you said that mended my heart, not broke it. those words were what brought me back to you.
"i have been crying all day, i haven't left my bed. i've been crying over you."
"i don't wanna move on. i want you."
"i still remember that first day you walked into class and how i immediately knew you had to be mine."
"but how i felt that moment when i first saw you, i don't wanna feel that way with any other girl. and i won't be able to. only you."
"i'll miss you."

i died a little on the inside. no, more than a little. you had blocked me on everything possible, that's why you couldn't see my messages. i asked your friend to check them. you did. you were so happy, you cried even more, i cried.
"can i come over?"
i said i didn't know yet. i was scared. but the next day i told you i regretted it. so you did. and you brought my favorite snack, and i hugged you. we couldn't stop smiling, i was already in tears. i held you so tight for a moment, i didn't wanna let go. i knew before you came over you were hoping i would kiss you, and i was scared to. i was frightened. but when i leaned away, i looked up at you and you were the one who looked scared. and i kissed you. and i could feel the relief in your lips as your arms gripped me tighter and my heart pounded. i was yours.