Every now and then I find myself still mesmerized by your beauty both inside and out, I even begin to question what that's all about. I've come to realize that I still want you, be it in the most innocent of ways to the most intimate, I still want you without a doubt. Sometimes the feelings are a little overbearing, my chest starts to ache and your words cut deeper than any other before, but no matter how unbearable the hurt I've endured, my final thought is always, I want you without a doubt, with all your perfect imperfections, with your spontaneous quirks, with all the things that I've come to learn, that actually weren't an irritation, they have become the things I miss the most. The way you'd stand behind me and put your arms over my shoulder while I was busy with something, the way we'd lay in bed and you'd start playing with my fingers, I even miss you laying my pillows flat just after I had got them right. I hate the fact that there's no more tug of war for the blanket at night, I even hate that I said there was your side and mine, because now there isn't even a side at all, there's just an empty bed I avoid. Every day I couldn't wait for the day to end, because I knew I was able to see you and on the way home to you I'd be overjoyed, just to see your smile, to give you a hug and rest my head against your shoulder inhaling your scent. How that scent has stayed, how the image of you has imprinted itself like a photo in my head, I never want it to fade because no matter how hard you try to push me away..

I will still want you without a doubt.