He is like a smile to me
One earnestly shown
The flash of perfect-imperfect teeth
The bunching up of cheeks
Soft and warm with innocence
Boyish, ageless and happy
It sparks the coals of my memory
The first boy I kissed
Sensual and honest flesh
Playful, limber, gentle and careful form
Opaque flesh became transparent
As inner fires began to shine through
Oh how much a mirror image I was
Likewise ignorant but lustful
Adventurous and at once wary
Afraid to upset him and skittish to touch
Ticklish in a way
As I became just my body
How alien it was to me
And how I was reminded how alien I felt
In this body my body
House and vessel to me
With these senses almost my true senses
Conscious and subconscious playing along
Do I really want this to be with him?
I’d love him so much better without this form
I reason when body does not do as I feel it should
Why won’t I *** for him
Or rise to please him as he pleases me?
Why won’t my skin show my inner pleasure?
Oh, I do like you and the things we do
The way we touch and how I moan
I want to say I love you
But will you be disappointed if I also say
That I am not in love you?
At least not yet