Grow up. Forget the pill bottles; no more slicing up your wrist pretending that everything was your fault. Get rid of your unhealthy addiction because your addiction was him, and thinking about it is like acid being injected into your veins, it will eat you alive. Grow up. I can’t, because growing up means I have to give up, and giving up is on my mind more frequently and it’s like time is racing past me and I just need to; slow down or stop time but my mind can’t stop thinking because you’re everywhere I go, you’re everything I see like you’re tattooed on my non existent eyelids preventing me from sleep. I can’t. Grow up. Forget about your past, don’t think about your future and live in the present. There’s better things than what you see through the transparent cracked glass, I promise. The glass is just your own allusion[d] mocking you that you're the last one to realize that fast is as slow as slow is too fast. Grow up. How? How do I grow up when I fell in love with him easier than children believe that their parents will stay. When the intoxicated screaming over runs the central control and it consumes every life form, eating away every white blood cell I have left in my body. Grow up. I’m finally admitting to myself that I’ll grow up, but living, now that’s different. I’m still debating if I really wanna live or am if I’m pretending, pacing around with a pencil drawn fake smile while my lifeline remains at zero. But I’ll grow up, because growing up is easier than seeing him everyday and feeling my heart stop as if I’m one second closer to death. I’ll grow up because every blood cell I had left slowly dissolve into something a little less then being alive. I’m growing up because I don’t know if I can continue down this twisted confusing path any longer by myself. I’m giving up. because I have nothing else to lose