i got a job
i have no car
i’ve got chaos
and on the verge
of being an alcoholic
here i am
nostalgic.
half alive
never asleep,
you either.
on the bathroom counter
on the floor
with words crashing to the ground
the nostalgia.
no more birds in the morning
no more rain
and the chaos
it’s so beautiful
like the most traumatic sunset
where the sun sinks low
over the water
and you’re free
the song on repeat
i wonder how i’m
even alive.
why
i still choose to
wake up by your side.
like an undercover darkness
raging against the mass
of reality
bringing me to a medium.
everyone knows
everything goes.
so infinite
in the haze of
the sun
like children
with guns.
at any minute
left to bleed out
for the next flesh
to cleanse.
no more waves to
wash
away the insanity.
when you’re gone
i-
when are you leaving
my god
go before the snow.
the foliage
is like an open wound
ripping wire
through my throat
i need to go.