I’m bleeding tremendously down my face I almost escaped.
It’s 5am, we walked the streets and had a cigarette You tell me about yourself, “God” It seemed so innocent, only walking
We left with no words Such harmless individuals with no intentions We were just happy and free
That’s not my name- I lied. Cause you pigs are just trying to make bank at the end of the month. So close to making it. I’ve got dirt grinding between my teeth And my face is soaked a crimson red pooling under my eye dripping into my mouth “Call paramedics!” “but I’m fine, I’m fine.” I’m trying to cooperate now. You must think I’m ******* insane
There’s no panic in me only sorrow. Up against the car ambulance head lights ******* blinding me. You’re already in the back of the car the overhead light casting onto your face you mouthed the words so calmly “It’s okay, it’s gonna be okay” I tried to believe, I tried to cry.
Back up arrives ******* ******* are having a ******* fiesta. But the paramedics are nice just stop taking pictures of me, please.
I collapse onto the ground against the vehicle with my vision spotted so close to passing out.
They decide we can ride in the same vehicle. “You like to swim, God?” you asked. “When I was a kid.” he’s blunt. “Why not now? It feels just as good as it did when you were 10.” But he didn’t answer. And the sun is lighting the city that I love
There’s massive sliding doors they crash so loudly the sound ricochets off the cement walls.
We’re escorted inside I still haven’t shed any tears. We remove all jewelry un-weave all that’s tangled in our dreads “They want everything in this ******* bag.” the policeman said. they cut the strings from my ****** christmas tree shorts
I’m given beige sandals my soiled feet are too small. I take a seat on the cement bench filthy old ***** eyeing me up and down grinning freakishly. I look ******* haggard.
I see the counselor then attempt to use the bathroom to open the door on some old **** **** taking a ****.
Infomercials drone obnoxiously. I hate television.
You take a seat next to me wearing the hideous sandals as well. So cold, the alcohol is wearing off you hand me your paisley flannel. I bleed on it.
If only we had stayed behind that building smoking our cigarettes sharing our minds. Only 4 more minutes till the paper would have burned to the filter would have made all the difference.
I see the nurse. I’m re-bandaged trying to hold back my shutters of pain. His kind words and soft speak bring me to my first tears “I’m not like this, I just want to sleep… in my bed… with my cat. And my family… Oh my Godddd!” I’m bellowing as quietly as I can. And he tells me stories.
I’m allowed to make my phone call and it’s your turn with the nurse. Mother. I’m wallowing into the phone to her I’m frantic and self-loathing And she’s coming to save me.
Escorted to your waiting cell I’m alone now I feel completely alone. I’ve lost myself somewhere between bottles and spent cigarettes.
Taken to the waiting cell it smells putrid like a public bathroom which jolts me. I take my seat on the repulsive floor.
There’s an older obese woman curled into a ball in the back corner sobbing. And everyone looks ******.
The clock is creeping to 8am ******* let me out. I watch the lazy pigs ******* cackle and stand so proudly like they earned another notch in their belts.
Close to 10am I receive my “blues” and yet another photograph You in your cell, give me comforting smiles. ******* **** hollers, “Awh **** baby! You tried to run! I’ll bond you out! I gotcha baby!” ****. Off.
The blond woman takes us upstairs through metal detectors, crashing doors, coded rooms, surveillance cameras. And I’ll never forget her spidery eyelashes.
I drag my mesh bag on the floor it contains my blankets and toothbrush… #36.
I’m lost, everyone there has been there before.
I just disappeared no one knows what happened to me when they awake. I let everyone down, including myself.
The lunch food is served I want to ***** I’ve been awake for 23hrs and the alcohol is wearing off completely I feel like a walking corpse.
#36… Through the slit of window I can see you, mother oh, mother. please don’t leave me here
I try not to fall asleep because I could miss the intercom announcement to release me.
That steel door clicked and opened my mother and father stood up and I had never been happier to see them It was silent other than my sobbing and everyone stared wild-eyed and confused as I exited to false freedom and sunshine