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Feb 2016
When I was a teen,
I went to school like any other kid,
Struggling over acne I can't rid,
Lifting weights so my weight was hid,
Pivoted on a group of friends,
Who never knew what words end,
So when they ripped on a kid whose sister died of sids,
I stood back and watch this kid's world end.
I tried to help, confiding with him,
Taking the time to let him know I was with him,
Giving him the heads up of what the others were going to do,
And made sure his hellish world a little less blue.
But I was afraid thanks to this hollywood lies of popularity,
As though being hated was so frowned upon,
When being hated meant bearing a heart.

Don't get me wrong,
I never really did ever grow strong,
But I was mixed in with the wrong crowd,
As though insults to injury made people proud,
And a cigarette in your fingers meant you're well endowed.

I didn't really fit in myself,
They would say things like,
No one would put you on a pedestal cause you'll break the shelf,
But the only thing that ever broke was my self esteem.
Broken bones and bruises came and go,
But the words that they preached to me is all I know,
So when I was sober at a show,
They fed me with alcohol and told me to party more,
Looking around surrounded by guys treating girls like ******,
And people who saw hearts and souls as toys and objects.
But I had a brittle voice never able to speak clear enough to object,
And when the school found out my father had died,
The jokes never ended at body image jokes, and all I did was sigh.
They shunned down on intellect,
Like if you were smart "go eat an insect".
They wore it on their shoulder with pride,
Of how they never once ever did hide,
And they were cool because they made a person,
feel "rekt".

So the words they tried to preach,
And the lessons they tried to teach,
Was you aren't cool enough if you aren't perfect,
But the real lesson instilled in me, was that I was perfect.
They hid behind hidden cameras,
Taking photos of torture and suffering,
Like they were engaged to it.
They were no better than me,
They had their own burdens but mine they couldn't carry,
So as tales are told, I learnt....
The weaker you are, the more strength you have got to show.
"I now know why you're so ugly,
Usually guys take after their dads,
But yours is dead,
So thats why you take up after your mum..."

Interjects a second kid....

"I'll take your mum"....

All that human fears of broken hearts and broken soul,
Were by the crippling words that left a rock size hole
A hole that no matter with what we fill, we will never be whole.
Star Gazer
Written by
Star Gazer
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