the issue is that, really, i am dead
nothing works anymore
and i'm trying to push through
i'm trying to resurrect
restructure
re-assimilate
but no one sees that

they're not going to house me while i'm dying
why should they
i still have to do things as it happens
i have to be active
they're not going to allot me the time to experience it fully, rationally, and come to terms with it
hospice care for a 20 year old doesn't exist
it's not a thing
to them i'm just sitting here
in this house
young and able bodied
with a desire for nothing
not wanting to work or go to school
laying across the couch in broad daylight
like an (being an) open sore
needing (to have) the sheets ripped off of me like a band-aide (bandage) to start my day