There is a feeling growing inside me again,
It’s flowing through my voice, presence and pen.
Hatred and anger, pain, hurt and then
A vision of evil that only a few can comprehend.

It stifles my strength, power and creativity,
Makes me shut myself away in a room of negativity,
A cycle of pain, cycle of captivity,
Locked back in a life of inactivity.

My mind is abused; with sewage it’s rotten,
Have to many things happen that just cannot be forgotten,
Webs of connections, tiny webs of cotton
Back to square one, hitting rock bottom.

Head is throbbing and spinning out of control,
How do I cope with the outside world?
Back feeling like a child again, weak little girl,
The sickness returns and I want to hurl.

Why can’t I snap out of this and help myself.
Jump off the spinning carousel,
I need to scream at high decibels,
Somehow I will excel.