Everything's changing before I had a chance to experience the feel of it all
It's second semester of my senior year and I find myself wondering where the time has gone. I'm only 17 years old although I remain in this exact spot- the spot of wonders. Wonders on where I'll be this time next year- also ten. Wonders on who I'll go to prom with or where I'll travel next. Wondering what my dad's been up to- we haven't been talking much, why? I wonder about my best friend and the secret he's holding inside, I wonder if he needs help, I wonder what's making him so sad. I wonder if I could tell you every person that I've met; first name and last- then pick who's stuck around. I wonder all these thoughts- then I get a little lost.
Everything's changing before I had a chance to experience the feel of it all
Because I question my religion at times, and what happens when we die? Will this all just be forgotten- or do we become angels in the sky? Will I grow up to be a writer, will I meet my husband soon? Is he someone I've already met? Thoughts like these are always running through my head.
Everything's changing before I had the chance to experience the feel of it all
A year from now we will be settled into our dorms- finishing up our first semester of our freshman year as college students. Will I be cheating my way through classes or finding my own help? Will I be filling up my nights with people whose names will be forgotten by Saturday? Or Sunday breakfasts with someone I love. Will I even still be around? Will my sisters be there to talk? Will I even have a child, or a marriage that will last. Will I do what I've always done- reminiscing on the past. Wishing I could go back- it's something I've always done. Wishing I could change, who ever wrote these rules' is no fun.
Everything's changing before I had the chance to experience it all
Help me understand if I'm living my life wrong. Am I passing the time too fast? Is it the fact that I look at future time as if it's already passed? I've prayed for help to change my habits- praying for some answers. I pray and pray and pray- although I'm still just left with these wonders.