It was a rainy day outside, I was in sixth grade and going to this cafe every morning had become a routine since I moved in with you. It didn't last very long, but I cherished those moments with you in that cafe. It wasn't a surprise, I had kept any moments such as this close to my heart. Thats the truth, dishonestly I lied and said I didn't care about your absence in my life. I missed you but, I'd never say it out loud. I wanted to tell you my secrets. I wanted to tell you every play, running meet, job and phase you've missed since I'd last seen you. How many haircuts do you think I've had since we'd last been face to face? Did you get my prom pictures? Did you hear about the trip we're supposed to take up there? You know my hair is curly like yours right? Often times family members tell me I look like you and I do this thing where I rub my tummy and tia sally told me I got that from you. Sometimes when I've had a long day I go home and read your letters in hope that I find some clarity. It only ever makes me feel nostalgic and reminisce times when I still had my grandmother in my life. The sun shining down on my face while I'm sitting on a blanket outside playing with my toys. It reminds me of my mom spending every last penny of her savings on the funeral. Transitioning from my childhood and entering adulthood at a much too young age. Witnessing the changed from people who were seemingly what I thought were average turn into irrational and odd humans. Everything was altering so quickly and rapidly. We do the best we can.  I'm not angry anymore, I dont hate you. I'm glad you're still alive so we can revisit Rosie's.