No. You will not say you know me. too much time has passed. too much transpired.
You were gone when I fell head full into the abyss, crash landed years later where I crawled out from beneath thoughts heavy enough to **** myself with. to heavy to lift sharp enough to cut away and **** the parts of me that where
beyond salvation . parts of me to heavy to stand with.
I love you, I loved you . Whispered like a lullaby, draped over wounded thoughts; screaming wrongness in me. Echoing goodbyes in me.
The ache of knowing sacrifices must be made, Ruined by the corrosion of your unyielding misconceptions and unreachable expectations. Numbly I sat cutting away at the bits of myself we had been beating and breaking down for years.
red and raw blue and empty with trembling fingers clawing at all that sat wrong in my reflection, parts I thought I needed but ruined would never stand me up right again never hold up my chin.
Horrified; at being so full of so much nothing. that I was to tight to even catch my breath. Seams bulging from fingertip to the ribs in my chest
Every moment agonizing. Every second impossible. Over and over I died.
And still I would wake ,
cruelirony
by the thousandth time I woke weary and cold I looked upon the carnage all of me disassembled at my feet, a fear trembling deep in me , a courage to rebuild growing in my bones. only picking up every bit of persistence I turned to go.
so no you do not know me you were not there when I escaped from my own dark to fill myself with slivers silver shifting , bits of an indifferent moon; you were not there to journey my emptiness to traverse the abyss. You were not there when I began to fill it. In your absence I have grown and still,
I do not know how you will fit here.
"-when you look into the abyss, the abyss also looks into you."