Rocking back and forth.

Back and forth.

Back and forth

In the endless spiral

Of the jungle.



I know I’ve disappointed;

My sweetest love.

I know I am wrong:

About kicking you.

I know I am right

About asking for

Your forgiveness.



With my touch

You used to feel

Static.

With my touch

You now flinch

Away.



With my laugh

You used to smile

Brightly.

With my laugh

You now frown

Painfully.



Hatred and disgust.

Look at what I’ve become:

A scaly black eyed

No good rotten

Monster; I really

Didn’t mean it.



I promised I’d leave

Into the depths

Of the jungle.

Where there are

Scarier things than me.

The growls and snarls

Put me right where

I belong; without you.



I promised I wouldn’t

Leave again; Yet

Here I stand,

Alone.

Surrounded,

By the same monsters

You fear came out

Of me.



Inside of my soul

I search.

The jungle inside

Is as vast as the one

I wander in right now.

Inside a storm brews; but

Before I crash,

Silence.

Before I burn.

More silence.

Before I suffer.

Silence yet again.



Lose. Lost. Suffer.

Lose what?

Your trust.

Lost where?

Inside.

Suffer from?

Your distance.



O how I’ll lose you

Slowly and subtly.

O how I’ll seem lost

in the jungle of the mind!

O how I’ll suffer

from a fate without you!



Ever so afraid

I flinch.

A beast

That was hidden

Behind that massive rock

Came forth: sliced at my skin,

Tearing flesh and bone.



I need you.

I want you.

I kicked you.

I love you.



I can hear it now

Within the oaks,

Mahoganies, and figs

Inside: you tell me

“No, I hit you first.

It’s not your fault.”



Moments pass by

And I say

“Look at me”

You turn away…

“Please, look at me”

and you slowly turn.



Staring at your eyes

I think about

The sun that

rises with your smile;

the stars that

sparkle brilliantly;

my heart that

beats like hummingbird’s wings;



Slowly I speak cautiously

As you begin to turn away.

“Don’t turn away.

It’s my own fault

and mine alone.”

And I hear no more

From the trees



I look up only

to see you standing

there looking at me.

With tearful eyes

And a love that

consumes the jungle.



I see you there

Bearing the weight

Of the tall, soaring

Oaks, mahoganies, figs.

The burden of our love

Is on your shoulders.



No longer afraid.

Of being so alone.

Of being yelled at.

Of being you.

I walk towards you

And help you with

The burden for

the rest of your life.