Stepping through my mind's eye, I can see clearly the things I want to see.
Visions materialize through imagination, making up the shores of my reality.
What is said of my imagination? Is my reality distinguishable from that which you can not see?
Where does that line begin? It seems to have a likeness of divinity.
What is it to be known when divinity touches my shore?
I want to be enlightened, with knowledge that I have never known before.
So many questions. So many things that are yet unknown to me.
Searching for myself. Trying to find the individual that I most want to be.
I want to be that person. The very best of what I can dream.
Sometimes it feels impossible, no matter what the odds may seem.
Still, I look for that inspiration. That very spark that will send me on my way.
I need to find it soon. I do not think I can wait another day.
Something...holding me back. I am not sure. I can not tell.
Something lingers from the past. Forgotten...left in my mind to dwell.
My sub conscience is telling me something. It is screaming for me to hear.
What it is I can not figure. It is this "not knowing" that I fear.
A time for searching begins. Time to look deep. Break down the walls around the pain.
Do I really want to know? Could be those very walls that have kept me sane.
Too many questions to ponder. Too many "if's" are holding me down.
I must prepare myself for the answers. Whatever the problem, I must turn it around.
Maybe...the problem does not lie in the past, but exists with me today.
Could it be the very thing I am looking for be in the present, formed with these words I say?
The solution seems twofold. A fork in the road can now be seen.
The past or the present? This decision affects the very essence of my being.
Perhaps, just perhaps, the answers lie along a different direction.
I should try to find another option while in this time of reflection.
What about my future? What would my future hold by dwelling in the past?
To be smothered in resentment? That is not the feeling that I want to have last.
I must not dwell in the past. I must use it for strength in today.
Without those mistakes I made, there would be no lessons to guide the way.
The solution does exist. It is hidden here in plain sight.
Make the decisions today, that will make my future seem bright.
Today is the key. Only today can I affect tomorrow.
To live in the moment...turn away from all the sorrow.
The past is the past. Can not change it. Must move on the better things.
Today is the moment. Live today so that we may not fear what the future brings.
That is the trick is it not? To forgive myself everyday for things gone wrong?
I must continue to learn. Continue to live the moment, and help my future to grow strong.
To decide for the future, I must accept that which is to be.
As long as I do the best I can, there will be no stopping me.
That is what I will do. Consider every decision as if it were my last.
Take nothing for granted. Learn everything. Life can go by pretty fast.
I have found direction. It is up to me to see it through.
Anything is possible. Let me see what it is that I can do.
Matt Segin
03/00