She asked me to write her a poem. But how could I?

How can I express the deepest that I feel?
I see you on the outside, but are you for real?
What do you want? Who is that person you keep locked inside?
I know there is something there. Please. Do not hide.
Open your eyes. Allow new vision. Prepare yourself.
I offered you the book of freedom. And there you keep it on the shelf.
So many days. So many times I have tried and tried.
I used to say "I love you." Til the day you rolled your eyes.
We used to play together. We used to have fun.
You used to be my angel, til the day you turned 21.
What happened that night? How did things go so wrong?
My angel has flown away. I feel I no longer belong.
**** the spirits. **** those people. Oh what a horrible night.
Your friends stood by laughing. And I? I watched my angel take flight.
Fly away. Fly away. Take your innocence far from here.
I said goodbye to my angel. And now, the future is not so clear.
What can I do? How can I make it all seem right?
I came to you the next morning, but all we did was fight.
You said you didn't remember. You'd swear it til you die.
I took you for your word, even though I think it's a lie.
I chose to forgive you. I tried hard to mend the way.
I tried to find my angel, but this new person is here to stay.
I think I'll change myself,  to something I'm not meant to be.
That was the worst mistake of my life, losing the essence of me.
The person I became, the very worst came out of my mind.
For you I lost everything. Friends and family were far behind.
I didn't seem to care. The world around me seemed to fade away.
I had lost my direction, and no one could show me the way.
I looked to you for inspiration. I wanted us to have a future.
By then it was too late. To you, I was this evil creature.
Even to me this was true. I could not believe what I had become.
The very sickness of it all, the worst, was yet to come.
We lived our days in silence, never once saying how we feel.
I thought my love would overcome, little did I know what you were to reveal.
I came home to you that night, just as I always had done before.
I went inside to relax, then I heard a wrapping at the door.
I looked at him with tired eyes, he looked at me as though he were sad.
He said, "I have some news to tell you Matt, yes I'm afraid it's going to be bad."
He told me to go away. She needed space and time to think.
His words cut me like a knife. So many tears it hurt to blink.
I asked him for her reasons. "Please, don't leave me hanging in the sky."
He denied me my answers. "Go to a friend's, and wait for a reply."
He gave me a hug and I cried deeply in his arms.
He said, "I consider you a friend. I never meant you any harm."
I thanked him for his kindness, and sent him on his way.
I went to gather some things, and find a new place to stay.
My body went numb. I couldn't believe that this was real.
I wanted to scream her name. To just tell her one last time how I feel.
I left by myself. I drove off and into the night.
Memories of you were left behind, as your house went out of sight.
I still can't believe it. Please, help me to understand it all.
I have no answers. Nothing to do, but wait for a call.
The call is received. Good news to be had.
We get back together, and I start to feel glad....
Wait, things seem to be different. It's just not the same.
Instead of the endearments, I am called by my name.
I try to comply. I say I will do whatever it will take.
The promise is one sided. Everything else seems to be fake.
I have reached a plateau. I can take it no more.
Things will never be the same, not as they were before.
I have made up my mind. It is time to set her free.
Be a child no longer. Be an adult. Find my destiny.
I came to her to tell her. I tried to be nice. I tried to be kind.
She took it all in one breath...offered me a hug, and left me behind.
So now it is over. I watched her leave. I said good bye.
The door closed behind her. I took a deep breath, and whipped a tear from my eye.
Time to move on. Time to repent. Time to make up for the things I've done.
I shall start a new chapter in my life. It begins with page one.
The new journey begins. It is a struggle to survive.
The resurgence of friends and family, help me to keep hope alive.
I am reborn. The wonders of joy and peace find their way back to me.
They help me to understand. Help me to be the very best I can be.
Still I mustn't forget. I must not forget the past I leave behind.
I must use it for strength. I now have a new mountain to climb.
Climb I must. I have to climb to reach the top.
The summit is my true goal. At the summit I will stop.
How far is it? What dreams shall become reality?
My dreams are ever changing. That answer lies with divinity.
I will live my life to the fullest. Consider everything that comes my way.
I will go on to the finish. I will reach my summit someday.
Now the time has come. Time to move on. The end is near.
Live in the present. Decide for the future. Time to face all that I fear.
Afraid I am not. Friends and family hold me true to the test.
I put the past behind me. At last. It is laid to rest.
What about that woman? What is to be said about her?
I wish you nothing but the best. A life "happily after".
I forgive you woman. I hope you can do the same for me.
The mistakes you've made, the mistakes I've made...lessons learned our remedy.
Now go. Live your life. Go do the things you most want to do.
Remember time is constant. It will indeed catch up to you.
I shall go on. I have my own life to live.
I'm sorry you will miss out. I now have so much more to give.
You asked my to write you a poem. I've done it. It's all right here.
Need you never to worry for me, I have a smile...ear to ear.



Matt Segin
12/99