you still show up
every time i put
pen to paper
looking down
over my shoulder
watching inspiring
you inhabit every molecule of ink

each time i sit down at my desk
you peel apart my brain cells
as if you were pulling
back your veil on
your wedding day and
surveil tangential passages
bridging my synaptic gaps

i am a bee caught within your web
and i feel your thousand eyes
probing and poring over me
i couldn't escape
even if i wanted to

each black drop or generous dollop
has a hundred thousand
splintered fragments of you
fractions refracting strife and
intermittent anguish that
comes and goes without
so much as a
moment's warning
or a fond farewell

i have grown accustomed
to a lack of sleep